For the past few months I have had to learn to be on my own.
Why? Well the Mr has got a new job that means he needs to be in London for part of the week.
This is something that I have found really hard to cope with. I have shed many tears and some people might think that it’s cheesy or soppy but… I miss him, I miss him a lot!
It has shocked me at how much I really miss him. He’s my lobster (a phoebe from FRIENDS quote) I rely on him for more than I thought I did and it’s though for him being away to. Having to stay in a hotel, he misses out on spending time with the girls and they miss him a lot too. Although my eldest might not admit that to him but she does. Even with technology we can face time some times that hard for both of us to see what the others doing and have having that feeling of missing out on doing that with them.
This means now that I’m doing everything on my own while he’s away. I know being a mum we do lots anyway but normally I have him to share it with.
As well as working full-time I am coming home to cook, clean, helping with homework. Can I just say high school homework is hard!!! I’m the one that’s the emotional support for the kids, making sure all the letters and fees are paid for school. Making lunches while loading the dishwasher and putting another load of washing in all at the same time.
Before I know it, it’s bedtime and I’m lay in a big bed with no one to cuddle up to or moan at the fact he’s taken nearly all the duvet or his feet are too cold. Yes I love to starfish in bed but…. I feel they part of me is missing, a bit part.
I get that this maybe Normal for some families, to have a partner work away. I do get people saying to me “You will get used to it.”, Or “just get a grip.” “I do it all the time.”
I see us as a team and that how we work best together. He’s my rock and I miss him when he’s not here. I don’t like having to do all this on my own… But I’m trying my best. Yes the house may look a tip but I’m trying to hold it together and do a 1000 things at once.
This also means I find it hard to shut off at night, so sleep is very broken until he is home. When he is back I seem to have the best nights sleep.
So here I am it’s 1am and I’m wide awake just thinking and rambling. I think I will hit publish in the morning as emptying the dishwasher. Good night!