Just a side note a wrote this post on the day, so about 2 weeks ago, I’ve left it in my drafts until now.
Wow, what a day it has been… if you are part of slimming world or have been apart of it you may be aware of a thing they do called Woman of the year.
This is where group member nominate some who they think should be woman of the year. It is not necessary the woman who had lost the most weight, there’s another event for that (Greatest Loser). So who ever is nominated are asked to share their journey with the group the following week. Where there will be another vote to crown the groups woman of the year.
Right with all the explaining out of the way here goes….
I was completely overwhelmed when my consultant messaged me to say that I had been nominated and just replied with
It really did come as a shock to me. So for the past week I have tried to think about the reasons why I started my journey and I came up with a few things that I wanted to share with the group.
What I didn’t expect was how emotional I would be feeling about going to group that day, the nerves certainly were there and really there is no need to be nervous if you get nominated. But for me, it would be the first time telling people about why I joined and how much being apart of that group really means to me.
I know I didn’t manage to say things I wanted to say as after listening to the other nominees, I was already feeling quite emotional. So when is did come to me and I was asked to share my journey, the emotions got the better of me and I struggled to hold back the tears. Luckily my amazing consultants knew I had brought some pictures of my journey so far and I shared those with the group. As you can see from the pictures I have made a good start to my journey, they are not before and after pictures they are start and where I am now.
Along with the pictures I took a pair of what were my favourite jeggings that I wore all the time..
When I look at this picture I cant quite believe how much my body has changed. I’m keeping those pants as a reminder of where I started, as sometimes is hard to lose sight of where you started and the difference of how far I have come.
There were other reasons that I talked about and one of them was being bullied for my weight while I was in my teens, hearing the things that were being said as I walked pasts, just the general name calling. Not being invited to parties etc because ‘who would want a fat girl there’, have left lasting scars mentally, not many people do know that and I found this really hard to share and say out loud. But it felt right to share I mean, know one in that room was going to judge me. It’s something that I have put to the back of my mind for many many years. And again I couldn’t hold back the tears.
Depression and anxiety have also played a part in my life as well as low self esteem. Again something I haven’t really shared with people and sometimes it hard to deal with then the clouds loom over, but I have my ways of coping. Maybe I will talk more about that at some point…
This is also for my girls, they are at an age where I’ve already heard them say they are fat and they don’t look good, I don’t want them to have a negative mindset about themselves. And I feel if they see this in me… I want them to embrace themselves. It’s something I have only just started to do with the thanks to slimming world and my amazing group. I’m much more positive about how I look and I hope that my girls can see this too.
I’ve struggled at times and at the moment seem to be bobbing around the same weight which is frustrating me a little. There is still a long way to go, I seem to be taking the scenic route which seems to have to bumps along the way. But thats ok with me, Rome wasn’t built in a day!
If you have got this far then you are a superstar for reading my ramble and deserve a gold star…. I just wanted to document how, I was feeling and the fact that I was nominated.