Doing things on my own

For the past few months I have had to learn to be on my own.

Why?  Well the Mr has got a new job that means he needs to be in London for part of the week.

This is something that I have found really hard to cope with. I have shed many tears and some people might think that it’s cheesy or soppy but… I miss him, I miss him a lot!

It has shocked me at how much I really miss him. He’s my lobster (a phoebe from FRIENDS quote) I rely on him for more than I thought I did and it’s though for him being away to. Having to stay in a hotel, he misses out on spending time with the girls and they miss him a lot too. Although my eldest might not admit that to him but she does. Even with technology we can face time some times that hard for both of us to see what the others doing and have having that feeling of missing out on doing that with them.

This means now that I’m doing everything on my own while he’s away. I know being a mum we do lots anyway but normally I have him to share it with.

As well as working full-time I am coming home to cook, clean, helping with homework. Can I just say high school homework is hard!!! I’m the one that’s the emotional support for the kids, making sure all the letters and fees are paid for school. Making lunches while loading the dishwasher and  putting another load of washing in all at the same time.

Before I know it, it’s bedtime and I’m lay in a big bed with no one to cuddle up to or moan at the fact he’s taken nearly all the duvet or his feet are too cold. Yes I love to starfish in bed but…. I feel they part of me is missing, a bit part.

I get that this maybe Normal for some families, to have a partner work away. I do get people saying to me “You will get used to it.”, Or “just get a grip.” “I do it all the time.”

I see us as a team and that how we work best together. He’s my rock and I miss him when he’s not here. I don’t like having to do all this on my own… But I’m trying my best. Yes the house may look a tip but I’m trying to hold it together and do a 1000 things at once.

This also means I find it hard to shut off at night, so sleep is very broken until he is home. When he is back I seem to have the best nights sleep.

So here I am it’s 1am and I’m wide awake just thinking and rambling. I think I will hit publish in the morning as  emptying the dishwasher. Good night!

Racheltag

21 Comments

  • JuggleMum, Nadine Hill

    It’s hard to be without the one you love, even though you are still ‘together’. My hubby and I had a long distance relationship for a year when he was my boyfriend and I went to Uni and it was so tough, but I reckon what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger and I found this true for our relationship in this case. x

  • Laura

    It really can be difficult, but you will adapt. You will get used to the situation and then when he comes home it will be like he never went away 🙂

  • Sonia

    I know exactly how you feel, My other half used to work away in Poland a lot and it was awful being at home and having to bring the kids up on my own. Thankfully he has a new job now and doesn’t work away. You do get used to it though and it will get easier xx

  • Phoebe @ Lou Messugo

    It is hard flying solo, you’ve nothing to be ashamed of. I did it for many months when my littlest was a new born, my hubby was away Mon-Friday and I hated it. It does get easier (and I even know some people who come to love their time alone!) but for now I feel for you!

  • Michelle

    I know I would be lost without my husband, I don’t realise how much I lean on and rely on him, until he isn’t around. However, I know when I split up with my ex and was left with to raise my son on my own, I didn’t think I could do things, but realised I could… xx

  • Suzanne

    Even if my husband is away for one night, i feel exhausted with doing everything. He’s such a help around the house so really struggle getting on with it alone. I very much get how you feel and it’s not silly at all. Take my hat off to single parents out there.

  • Hannah Wood (staveley)

    Must be hard as you say would hate it if my husband was away like that but many others have the same problem so your not alone.x

  • Lucy Dorrington

    I have the opposite problem, my husband works nights, so I’m used to having the bed to myself, but I’m far too used to having him around during the day!

  • Jen

    I know that I couldn’t manage without the husbeast, he is my lobster too. Ia know that we all make do when we have to. I often wonder how people managed before facetime!

  • Kara

    I hate it when hubby goes away with work, much as he winds me up when he gets home and is still in “Manager mode”. We are a team and it all crumbles when he is not around

  • Charly Dove

    Oh Rachel that’s hard to get used to, hopefully for a good reason though. Probably means you make the most of the weekends though which is lovely. On the getting to sleep, I need two hours free of work/screen time otherwise my noggin is too full. I rarely manage it obviously but maybe have a cut off so you can have a good night and get to sleep before the early hours 🙂

  • Erica Price

    It takes a bit of getting used to doesn’t it? I find it easier when hubby is away for more than 1 night at a time as I get a bit more into a routine, but the reality of his job means it’s usually the odd day here an there.