Bit of a mind dump


So yesterday it was back to school and work after halfterm. 

It was while I was on the school run chatting to one of my friends she said “I’ve never seen you so stressed out before.” 
She was right I’ve been feeling crap for a few days letting the weight if the world weigh me down. 
Halfterm should have been something to enjoy, spending time with the kids. But I didn’t really enjoy it this timeā€¦ 
Why? I’m not really sure. I know I was lacking some motivation and then looking at the house knowing there was (and still is) a lot to do. 

It’s hard trying to manage working and all the stuff at home too. 

I think that’s what made me feel so low I feel like a failure as a mum, wife and being me. 
I take my hat off to those mums who manage to work and keep their home looking spotless.
There was also arguing between my girls and that winds me up at times. My tween is acting like a full blown teenager and wow it’s hard to cope with at times. Her favourite thing to say at the moment is ‘For gods sake!’ She loves to slam doors and speaks to her sister in a not nice way. 
They just don’t seem to get at all at the moment and at times I’m the one that’s ready to blow a fuse. This halfterm they have been in top form with pushing my buttons, I know that it’s only going to get worse once she goes to high school. 
There are times when they are so nice to each other but the arguing out weighs the mixed times at the moment. 
I was glad to get back in to a routine and to have a ‘break’ from the kids with them now back at school. 
There is still so much to do at home and would love for the cleaning fairies to turn up and give me a helping hand. But we all know that won’t happen. 
I’m tired when I come home from work the to cook and then start cleaning is the last thing I want to do.
I need to find a way to balance everything.
*Takes a deep breath in and then out*